My thoughts after the whole experience including microaggressions toward my girlfriend.
Before I begin, I want to acknowledge this is about my own experience visiting the deep south and is not reflective of everyone in the Southeastern corner of the United States. This is not a generalization of every person in the south as I do have relatives in Texas, and they are warm and friendly but very suspicious of out of state residents. Everyone’s experience to another state is different and mine was no exception.
I’m originally from the Pacific Northwest. I’ve grown up here my whole life. I love the hiking trails, the picturesque views, the environmental conservation, the music, art stores, and how accepting people are towards others. I also appreciate that while people seem reserved, they are friendly and don’t look down at others based on race, gender, religion, or physical or neurological disability. With this in mind here’s my view after visiting Georgia for the first time.
Hot & Sticky Climate
In the Northwest temps barely get above 85 during the summer and humidity ranges between 40–50% during our dry season. I arrived in Charleston International Airport where I got my first taste of what the heat index feels like. As I stepped outside into the 90-degree heat with 85% humidity, it felt like being locked in your bathroom with a hot shower steaming up the place. I had to be careful since I was not used to the heat index which can result in heat stroke since sweating is usually a way to cool off, but with high humidity there may be cases where you can’t sweat.
While the views were stunning from the ride from Charleston to Savannah, the August heat was really uncomfortable and provided me insight into why not many people leave the house during the summer. It didn’t help that there were periods of afternoon thunderstorms at times which kept the humidity high during my one week stay making it feel like I was swimming rather than walking.
Persistent Microaggressions
In the Pacific Northwest it was pretty common to get compliments as an interracial couple, in the south we had the opposite experience.
My girlfriend really wanted me to try soul food at Geneva’s, a regional chain down in Georgia which had good reviews, and I was excited to try collard greens for the first time. Unfortunately, there was a bit of a line, so my girlfriend and I made a reservation and waited outside by the front entrance. As we were waiting a black woman in her 40s heading towards the front doors of Geneva’s and slowed down and stopped to look at us. She stared at my girlfriend for a few seconds, then at me, and then back to my girlfriend before shaking her head in disapproval and heading inside.
As we were called by the employee at Geneva’s, we headed inside and as we took a seat two older white women in their 50s sat two tables to our left were staring my girlfriend and I which felt really weird. Fortunately, they departed five minutes after we took our seats, but I remember feeling how strange it was to have these judgmental stares when all we were doing was holding hands. Is it a crime to hold hands or something down here?
The next day we were going through downtown Savannah and as we were walking, three people suddenly looked up and began staring at us. A few minutes later it happened again outside a local coffee shop. An elderly white couple came out of the cafe and were talking but as soon as they looked at us, they immediately shut their mouths. They walked silently until the end of the block to resume talking with each other. What the actual fuck is this?! I felt as though this was the Twighlight zone or that we had been transported into an alternate universe because we had never experienced anything like this in Seattle.
The day that I had to fly back to Seattle my girlfriend came with me to the airport in Charleston, SC. It was an airport about one-quarter the size of SeaTac Airport, so it had more of a regional feel to it. We said our goodbyes and I went past checkpoint I noticed there was a huge plexiglass window where I could see the front entrance of the airport from the terminal. I had a cute little idea and got out my phone and called my girlfriend so we could see each other in person through the plexiglass screen. It would be a cute little send off, or it would have if people had minded their damn business.
As my girlfriend was talking, she said there was a couple behind who was looking at her, and sure enough it was an old white couple around retirement age looking at her. As I was asking if she was okay, she said there was another person who was looking at her at the seating area behind my back. I turned around and looked at an old white woman with her friends staring at my girlfriend as though she had committed a crime. I was fuming!
I immediately pulled my mask down, got between my girlfriend behind the plexiglass and glared at her which the white woman in her 50s immediately noticed before snapping her head away that she had been caught. Angered by this I was ready to go over and just question in front of her group of older friends why she was looking at my girlfriend. My girlfriend said it was alright; she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I asked if she was sure and she said yes, so I just apologized that she had experienced this before wishing our goodbyes and promising to see each other again.
Out of the 13 microaggressions we experienced 8 of them were by non-Hispanic white people, three were Asian, and 2 were Black. Among age groups the most common were among those in their 70s, followed by 20s, and 50s & 60s. Seven out of the thirteen microaggressions were among women.
Conclusion
The first experience in the deep south was met with a lot of joy and love as I got a chance to see my girlfriend for the first time in two months. I will admit that I did like some of the southern hospitality and loved that I got a chance to travel and experience a different place outside Washington state. It was great getting to spend time with my girlfriend and her family and visit a few areas such as art stores, museums, go on train rides, and eat soul food. The view along the Savannah boardwalk was incredible and the food was rich and delicious!
However, there were a lot of downsides which made the experience very unpleasant. First, while Savannah had sidewalks which were available along one block and then immediately ended, leading us to zig zag across streets because of a lack of continuous walkable paths. Second, there were microaggressions along with reminders of the confederacy, the latter of which should not be celebrated at all. Third, the stifling heat and humidity gave me an understanding of why people rarely go outside during the summer. And finally, there were confederate flags my girlfriend and her family had seen which we all view as a symbol of hate and racism and is like holding up a nazi flag.
Overall, Savannah is a nice place to visit but be prepared for microaggressions if you head down there especially if you are in an interracial relationship.
