Anti-Vaxxers: Drinking Urine Can Cure COVID
“I’m telling you this is the golden cure folks” says Alex Jones grimacing from drinking his own urine.
A new study has revealed that drinking urine may be the cure to COVID for those who refuse to take the vaccine.
The research comes from a study several years ago by the Association of Scientific Information and Truth Seekers who point out some of the benefits of drinking urine. First, they point out that some of the nutrients in our own urine contain potassium which helps maintain balance in blood sugar, if your blood sugar is too low it can lead to fainting or vomiting reducing the effectiveness of the body’s immune system. Second, they point out that the sodium maintains the healthy function of our immune system by introducing electrolytes which carry an electrical charge in the body. Sodium also prevents the body from losing too much water in our system, which will weaken our immune system. Drinking urine helps strengthen that immune system.
“This is grade eight miracle cure folks” shouted conservative conspiracy theorist Alex Jones on his podcast. The native-born Texan zipped down his trousers, yanked out his tiny dong, trickles into his own empty coffee cup before taking a drink. He grimaces before sticking his tongue out in disgust while on the air. And he’s not the only conservative pushing this supposedly miracle cure rather than one of three covid vaccines available on the market. Sean Hannity got in on the action by demonstrating in front of his audience how it can get rid of the coronavirus.
“The radical left would have you believe that taking a coronavirus vaccine that was tested by liberal professors who hate America leads to almost no hospitalization. Sure, these guys did the research and base their evidence on facts and consensus but who are you gonna believe? Some government bureaucrat that studied deadly diseases for 20 years to create a vaccine or a diarrhea mouth conspiracy theorist promoting drinking your own piss after doing a 10 minute Google search?”
Sean Hannity demonstrates by pouring himself a glass of warm foaming “golden miracle cure” and drinking the whole glass. Hannity grimaces before returning to his usual stone faced expression and says “mmmm this is delicious, I wonder if my own shit tastes as good.”